queerandpheasantstranger:

iamnotjayden:

ALWAYS ASK FIRST.

If you’re a reasonable person, you should be making sure people are OK with physical contact before you try to initiate it. Only an explicit “yes” means “yes”—and that’s not just for sex. That’s for touching someone’s hair because you’re curious (yes, you, white people who want to feel black people’s hair), or hugging someone, or even shaking hands.

how about us white folks just NOT EVER ASK TO TOUCH A BLACK PERSON’S HAIR because for fucks sake life is not a petting zoo for white people

also on this: i’ve seen a lot of asking for permission for touch in public/group settings where the dynamics make it extremely awkward to say no. i think we reaaaaaaaally need to recognize that asking in front of people for simple things like hugs can make it a space where you literally can’t say no and not seem like a frigid mean bitch. like even the whole internet “hugs if you want them?” thing is weird in public contexts because of the cultures of entitlement to oppressed bodies by the privileged. just… yeah.

just because you asked doesn’t mean you did it right.