pro tip: going through therapy can be an exhausting, draining process, especially if you need to work through trauma
so aside from being expensive if you don’t have excellent health insurance or full coverage from medicaid or charity care,
some people don’t have the mental strength at the moment to work through situations in their past that were extremely traumatic (wow who would have thought)
some people are in abusive situations where it is unsafe for them to seek help
if someone, for whatever reason, tells you that they are not able to get therapy after you suggest it, it’s usually a pretty good reason, and you should drop the issue.
Also some people have had bad experiences with therapy that make them unable to trust therapists or seek help from them.
very important addition!
(◕‿◕✿) facts about divorce for feminists and MRAs:
- in most (51%) of cases, both parents decided on their own (out of court) that the mother was to receive full custody
- in 29% of custody cases, the decision was made without any third party involvement
- in 91% of cases, the decision for the mother to have custody was made without court involvement
- of those who go to court, 70% of men who seek custody of their child receive it
- of those 70%, 1/3 of the cases cited domestic abuse as part of the reason for divorce
- women who mention having been victims of domestic abuse in court are less likely to receive custody of their children than women who didn’t
i’m tired of seeing posts on feminism by both feminists and MRAs citing “gender bias in custody cases” as a problem we need to solve. women aren’t unfairly receiving custody more often. abusive men are unfairly receiving custody.
the fact is, if my dad had actually attended his court ordered anger management type classes, i would legally have been required to spend a portion of my time with him until i turned 18, even though he beat my mother and abused me.
don’t let anyone make you think that the scale isn’t still tipped toward men in a court of law.
With Father’s day fast approaching, I would like to send a shout out to the people typically ignored on days like this:
- To the people with abusive fathers
- To the people absentee fathers
- To the people who don’t know their fathers
- To the people who cut their fathers out of their lives
- To the people with conflicting feelings about father’s day because their own father was a piece of shit but other men they know and love are awesome dads
- To the people who learned how not to be a shitty dad by not doing what their father did
- To the people whose fathers are deceased
- To the people whose fathers are locked up or deployed and/or can’t come home
- To the people trying to mend broken relationships with their fathers
You are not alone. If you don’t want to celebrate father’s day or you don’t want to talk to your father, that’s perfectly fine. Do whatever it takes to make sure you are healthy and happy.
cheers to us!
It’s real funny [except not funny at all] how the way to devalue, dehumanize and gaslight women is to say they have Daddy Issues
Daddy Issues became a well known thing because men have become known for abusing and leaving their children
And yet, somehow that’s a reflection on the daughter and not men
But Feminists make up sexism right?
Sometimes, someone hurts you in a way that’s permanently and forver dealbreaking.
Some people will tell you that you have to forgive the person who hurt you in order to move on. Sometimes, they will put lots of pressure on you and tell you that if you’re still suffering, it’s your own fault for bearing a grudge.
But… you don’t have to forgive someone to get distance. You can do that by creating a boundary. Sometimes that means you limit contact with them to areas in which they’re safe for you. Sometimes that means you break off contact entirely. In any case, it’s something you can do unilaterally.
You can break away and build a life that has nothing to do with them. They don’t have to loom large in your life forever.
And you don’t have to get closure or resolution or anything like that in order to move on. What you have to do is move on and do other things.
It takes time and it doesn’t fix everything (neither does forgiveness, despite cultural tropes). But it allows you to build space for yourself, without that person’s hurt taking over everything. And you don’t have to forgive them or do anything at all regarding them to get that space.
Your life is about you, not the person who hurt you.
My current life is proof that this works.
I never forgave, I never forgot. And my life is successful, happy, and I’m surrounded by people who love me.
I don’t post about it often, but I’m the survivor of 11 years of domestic abuse. Some people know this, and some people have made comments along the lines of “You’re so happy/successful now, I’m glad you were able to forgive-“
And I’m like
Nothing is forgiven
Everything I left behind just fell further into shit
And my life just keeps getting better and more and I fought like hell for every inch of it
The fact that I continue to exist and I own myself is all the “peace of mind” I’ll ever need.
Forgiveness is irrelevant.
JUST BECAUSE UR FRIEND’S PARENTS SEEM NICE WHEN YOU MEET THEM DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE NICE PEOPLE B/C YOU DO NOT SEE WHAT HAPPENS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!!!!!!!
SO IF FRIEND TELLS YOU THAT PARENTS ARE BEING CRUEL TO THEM AND HURTING THEM, DO NOT SAY “But they seem so nice! I doubt they mean it!” BECAUSE THAT IS AWFUL TO SAY TO THEM AND MAKES THEM NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN
Ugh this. There’s a reason I don’t talk about half the shit my father did to me growing up.
i wouldn’t want to be in anyone’s life who i didn’t positively affect. i wish some of the people who want to be in my life had this same concern.
my mom owes her attorney $14,000 by the end of june or else the attorney is going to stop representing my mom in the divorce of an abusive marriage
i’m going to cry ugh
idk if you wanna help my mom out and donate there’s a button on my page or use my email firstname.lastname@example.org that’d be great but i’m just going to go cry in a corner over how stressed out i am suddenly
HEY EVERYONE THIS IS REALLY URGENT PLUS THIS GIRL IS SUPER A+ SIGNAL BOOST
EDIT: So I got an update, and if we don’t pay in full then the attorney will apparently set a debt collector on us. Which is great, isn’t it?
Which pretty much means that we can actually get kicked out of home, or…who even fucking knows debt collectors are fucking nasty as hell.
My current goal to help mom out is to reach $2850 to help out my mom - combined with my college tuition savings and my own personal savings that should be enough to pay off the attorney. I know it’s a lot of money, but even a dollar or two will go a long way.
yes, I care about the victims of domestic violence/suicide/self injury/mental illness/cancer
I care about them so much that I’m not going to reblog an exploitative post you made demanding I reblog it just so you can feel like you’re making a difference as a super sweet caring sunshiny special snowflake person
This is why I don’t reblog those things. I am a survivor of lots of things and I will not perpetuate shaming or guilting people in the name of my struggles.
also it’s really suspiciously similar to ways my abusers have shamed and guilted me hmmmmm
i am looking to get the fuck away from my parents and out of my house as soon as possible
if you or anyone that you know in baltimore can spare a couch or a floor for a few weeks while i find a job and a place to live, please let me know asap
Please signal boost this, my friend Tyrone needs emergency housing!!!